i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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