Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Are my feet made of real feet?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
