New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
