Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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