i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I love you. Go after that dick
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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