I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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