just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize