just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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