Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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