Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
