OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
