you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize