I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
