Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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