I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
