just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
