You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize