Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

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(443): you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up http://tfl.nu/89z7

Replies (27) Good night (2724) Bad night (4904)
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(404): View more from Georgia

dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere

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(404): dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere http://tfl.nu/lbp8

Replies (13) Good night (5407) Bad night (783)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.

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(404): Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs. http://tfl.nu/4a67

Replies (18) Good night (5875) Bad night (1049)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later

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(717): check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later http://tfl.nu/adck

Replies (8) Good night (2501) Bad night (819)
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(802): View more from Vermont

i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face

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(802): i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face http://tfl.nu/in3q

Replies (6) Good night (738) Bad night (1661)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.

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(404): Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions. http://tfl.nu/eox4

Replies (6) Good night (1632) Bad night (513)
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(434): View more from Virginia

Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...

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(434): Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave... http://tfl.nu/1k20

Replies (13) Good night (2416) Bad night (816)
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(858): View more from California

I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though

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(858): I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though http://tfl.nu/pek1

Replies (2) Good night (1444) Bad night (467)
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(516): View more from New York

We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom

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(516): We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom http://tfl.nu/tkh6

Replies (8) Good night (2286) Bad night (623)
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(248): View more from Michigan

His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....

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(248): His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice.... http://tfl.nu/0jbe

Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (1247)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me

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(970): Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me http://tfl.nu/8oqe

Replies (3) Good night (1485) Bad night (297)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu

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(303): Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu http://tfl.nu/5y7f

Replies (9) Good night (357) Bad night (568)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.

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(540): I just told the sun to stop. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/3xc8

Replies (3) Good night (518) Bad night (252)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake

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(202): Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake http://tfl.nu/zcp7

Replies (0) Good night (400) Bad night (229)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"

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(919): You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs" http://tfl.nu/7e2r

Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (191)

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