Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i don't plan on having that self control this summer

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  (732): i don't plan on having that self control this summer http://tfl.nu/15c3
  Replies (8) Good night (2025) Bad night (533)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.

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  (513): I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off. (1-513): trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis. http://tfl.nu/8skg
  Replies (23) Good night (2490) Bad night (654)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.

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  (609): no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical. http://tfl.nu/1fef
  Replies (11) Good night (1026) Bad night (4029)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend

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  (651): i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend http://tfl.nu/co7p
  Replies (26) Good night (873) Bad night (5725)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.

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  (202): Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke. http://tfl.nu/as75
  Replies (8) Good night (1054) Bad night (4483)
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  (530): View more from California

  Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'

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  (530): Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober' http://tfl.nu/1n5d
  Replies (3) Good night (2823) Bad night (981)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  "Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.

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  (770): "Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea. http://tfl.nu/i0ux
  Replies (10) Good night (2980) Bad night (1210)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers

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  (850): They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers http://tfl.nu/xy1w
  Replies (9) Good night (1068) Bad night (2158)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.

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  (845): Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share. http://tfl.nu/wq4n
  Replies (8) Good night (2176) Bad night (1051)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.

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  (215): You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized. http://tfl.nu/g02p
  Replies (3) Good night (952) Bad night (401)
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  (805): View more from California

  Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job

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  (805): Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job http://tfl.nu/ohjc
  Replies (15) Good night (1005) Bad night (435)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants

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  (585): He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants http://tfl.nu/sshj
  Replies (7) Good night (637) Bad night (439)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.

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  (775): Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo. http://tfl.nu/p835
  Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (530)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned

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  (214): hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned http://tfl.nu/ixc1
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (214)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed

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  (727): Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed http://tfl.nu/f4j9
  Replies (3) Good night (612) Bad night (202)

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