Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Im part way to drunk.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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