so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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