Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids http://tfl.nu/0arl
  Replies (11) Good night (1212) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart. http://tfl.nu/md27
  Replies (5) Good night (832) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later http://tfl.nu/envj
  Replies (9) Good night (6318) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise. http://tfl.nu/2rjq
  Replies (27) Good night (1007) Bad night (2967)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery? http://tfl.nu/9jay
  Replies (42) Good night (5736) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup http://tfl.nu/bt9z
  Replies (9) Good night (1421) Bad night (4518)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it... http://tfl.nu/c9zy
  Replies (15) Good night (898) Bad night (4295)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge. http://tfl.nu/p9n1
  Replies (5) Good night (1071) Bad night (2307)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles http://tfl.nu/nfjp
  Replies (12) Good night (2672) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable. http://tfl.nu/tpm2
  Replies (3) Good night (1987) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already http://tfl.nu/xrp9
  Replies (13) Good night (1272) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/m2hu
  Replies (11) Good night (3575) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.

  (281): View more from Texas

  i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice. (281): i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building. http://tfl.nu/bxit
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me. http://tfl.nu/o8pj
  Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring. http://tfl.nu/7yo3
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (419)

Randomize