Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what if every blade of grass was a penis?

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  (610): what if every blade of grass was a penis? http://tfl.nu/ka1d
  Replies (34) Good night (4233) Bad night (1146)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.

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  (315): The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is. http://tfl.nu/aqok
  Replies (97) Good night (7893) Bad night (990)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues

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  (917): you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues http://tfl.nu/bwbh
  Replies (7) Good night (4623) Bad night (1092)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.

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  (617): Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant. http://tfl.nu/y6pb
  Replies (30) Good night (4192) Bad night (1331)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.

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  (518): I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer. http://tfl.nu/11oh
  Replies (16) Good night (3163) Bad night (1323)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.

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  (970): That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's. http://tfl.nu/h55c
  Replies (1) Good night (1287) Bad night (700)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.

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  (315): Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline. http://tfl.nu/p7f8
  Replies (4) Good night (409) Bad night (1071)
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?

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  (714): I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what? http://tfl.nu/ezau
  Replies (7) Good night (1197) Bad night (505)
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  (707): View more from California

  The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.

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  (707): The acoustics in my bra are fantastic. http://tfl.nu/vfao
  Replies (7) Good night (1008) Bad night (363)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.

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  (248): Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it. http://tfl.nu/f0ca
  Replies (1) Good night (911) Bad night (438)
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  (619): View more from California

  how did you know i stayed over last night?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom

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  (619): how did you know i stayed over last night? (702): there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom http://tfl.nu/hfaf
  Replies (1) Good night (1205) Bad night (314)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever

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  (303): When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever http://tfl.nu/l7j2
  Replies (3) Good night (931) Bad night (523)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me

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  (334): I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me http://tfl.nu/iy9q
  Replies (6) Good night (598) Bad night (435)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Send help, water and tortillas.

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  (512): Send help, water and tortillas. http://tfl.nu/ih4z
  Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (219)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No this is saxophone Chris

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  (804): Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris? (215): No this is saxophone Chris http://tfl.nu/wuq2
  Replies (10) Good night (1191) Bad night (263)

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