Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
