Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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