theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
