I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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