Whoa Z and x make the same sound
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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