In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
