no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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