I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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