I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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