i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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