Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
