apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
