i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
