First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
