if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
