i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
