Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
