I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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