Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
