I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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