glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
