Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
