i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
