Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
