...so i touched it.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
