I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
