Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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