my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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