I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
