He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
