took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
