My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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