is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
my nose is crying tears of wow.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
