Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
