went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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