Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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