I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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