More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
