All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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